You’ve probably heard quotes about the importance of your relationships. Such as “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”, or “you can have everything you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want”.
This is the one simple system you need to quickly improve all of your relationships.
Episode highlights
Affect labeling is one of the highest-impact skills to understand others, build social confidence, increase brainpower, experience the transcendent "Now", and to connect with others on the deepest level Share on X"I never came up with one of my ideas or theorems through logic" – Einstein Share on XMost people have never experienced emotional safety Share on XDoug Noll's emotional mastery process is simple and you can start getting results today Share on XPodcast Sponsor Banner
About Doug
Douglas E. Noll, JD, MA left a successful career as a trial lawyer to become a peacemaker. His calling is to serve humanity, and he executes his calling at many levels. He is an award-winning author, teacher, trainer, and a highly experienced mediator. Doug’s work carries him from international work to helping people resolve deep interpersonal and ideological conflicts to training life inmates to be peacemakers and mediators in maximum-security prisons
Top things you’ll learn from Doug Noll
- De-escalation is the ultimate skill & life hack
- Be careful when choosing goals
- Benefits of developing emotional understanding & skills
- Emotionally supported kids are two grades smarter than their peers
- Adults can prevent and diffuse any fights
- Increases compassion and ability to read room
- You won’t be confused by the behavior of others
- Massive social awareness boost
- Provides the one thing your dates want more than anything
- Affect labeling induces a transcendent state
- Priceless, effortless, easy, free tool
- The top affect labeling mistake
- Meditation widens gap between trigger and reaction
- Breathwork works to calm people but takes too long
- The rationality lie, debunked by neuroscience
- Humans are 98% emotional, 2% logical
- The ONE idea that has caused the most harm to society
- What is emotional invalidation?
- Humans are not born with emotions
- Science of developing emotion from nine basic affects
- Danger of ignoring emotions
- How to master emotions and what you’ll gain
- Connection to others is the fundamental human need
- Shocking findings from the ACES study
- The one link between all mass murderers
- What happens in the brain during emotional abuse or invalidation
- Repeated trauma stops development of emotional center of brain
- The ultimate gift to kids which could make prisons disappear
- Myth of “logical” data-driven personalities
- Einstein relied heavily on emotion
- Rules and codes of emotion
- Doug Noll’s 3 step process to de-escalate in 90 seconds or less
- The neuroscience of emotional affect labeling
- Nick tried affect labeling and failed
- Affect labeling others makes you more self-aware
- Is it really possible to ignore the words someone says and still understand them?
- Affect labeling texts, emails, social media, and written communication
- What other conflict resolution systems get wrong
- Nine basic universal affects
- Humans are the only animal with emotions
- “Why can’t I say yes” rather than saying no
- Humans transmute energy into different forms to survive
- Empathy vs sympathy vs compassion
- Affective vs cognitive empathy
- Practical example of affect labeling over email
- Biggest communication myths
Resources mentioned
- Study: ACES
- Book: De-Escalate
- Book: Secret Life of the Mind
- Book: Neuroeconomics
- Book: The Prophet
- Book: The 4 Agreements
Connect with Doug
This podcast is brought to you by
Nick Urban is a Biohacker, Data Scientist, Athlete, Founder of Outliyr, and the Host of the Mind Body Peak Performance Podcast. He is a Certified CHEK Practitioner, a Personal Trainer, and a Performance Health Coach. Nick is driven by curiosity which has led him to study ancient medical systems (Ayurveda, Traditional Chinese Medicine, Hermetic Principles, German New Medicine, etc), and modern science.
Music by Luke Hall
Subscribe to MBPP!
What did you think about this episode? Drop a comment below or leave a review on Apple Music to let me know. I use your feedback to bring you the most helpful guests and content.
Ask Nick a Podcast Question